more wonders of peanut butter

Well I don't really feel like finishing that last story about a peanut and his quest not to be made into peanut butter. Why? You may ask. And I may answer, but not right now. So we'll just leave it at that. Why don't you just enjoy a delicious spoonful of peanut butter. You could even put some peanut butter on top that. It always makes things better. You know like that song from mary poppins, a spoonful of peanut butter makes the medicine go down. Peanut butter is just that amazing. Some people even offer it in exchange for cognitive action. As in 'peanut butter for your thoughts.' Personally I would give a lot more than my thoughts for some peanut butter. That deal just seems too good to be true. I mean how can you expect someone to just give away peanut butter and only want some thoughts in return. Or maybe its an advertisement for peanut butter, you know the kind google could be putting on my blog but refuses to. One of the best uses of peanut butter is for stealing if you are hungry. It comes in an easy to carry jar that fits unnoticeably in any baggy coat or jeans. If you sag your pants you can put it in the crotch area and pretend you have a hard on. And its full of lots of healthy protein to rebuild those muscle fibers in case someone does notice you stealing and you have to book it out of there. I have several runner friends who eat gobs of peanut butter after working out for this exact same reason. Well except for the theft part. Anyway if you do end up getting caught stealing it just say you thought it was on sale for free.