Intrinsic

Intrinsic is an interesting word. I'm not really sure what it means at the moment. I knew what it used to mean a while ago, but I can't be sure it hasn't changed its meaning on me. Also I can't really remember what it used to mean, so its possible it still means the same thing as it used to. The real lesson learned here is that I can't think straight when I'm tired. On top of that I can't even think straight when I'm tired. I think I might be tired, I'm never really sure. Am I tired, or is my mind just not working up to par at the moment. I mean I really like sleep, I thoroughly enjoy it, so what if my mind is just faking it so that I will go to sleep. I have some trust issues when it comes to my mind. Well really I should just say I have some trust issues. We can leave my mind out of it. There are some things I trust. I trust my memory to never work whenever I'm trying to think of things that I trust. Other than that I can't remember what it was. Built in, thats it. I bet you thought I'd forgotten all about the whole intrinsic issue. Well I didn't. And I can now say that it has the same meaning that it had the last time I remembered what it meant, because remembering what it meant triggered another memory of the last time I remembered what it meant. I'm not so great with words. I know a shit-ton of them but I can never remember what they mean. Its not that I know of the word and not what it means, its more along the lines of me knowing that I know what the word means but not at the moment. Thats another thing that I trust. I'll always remember what the word means eventually, sometimes it just takes a while. A similar situation happens with french, except that with french I really don't know what the words mean. I have all these french words in my head, but I just know that they are words and not what they mean. This leads to some very confusing dreams. I used to dream in french. Unfortunately for me I couldn't understand any of it. I know it was french, I didn't make that part up. I just didn't know what any of it meant. It was like living a surrealist fench film without subtitles and then finding out you have the leading role. Sometimes I would even be talking in these dreams, in french. Talking in french that is. Even then I still couldn't understand what I was saying. Its a horrible feeling to have words hemorrhaging out of your mouth and no idea what any of them mean. I'm used to the hemorrhaging part, that happens all the time, but the whole french part really disturbed me. I would have preferred that clicky african language. That would be intrinsically cooler.