we'll have another sentence before we get to the now

It's been a long time... Whatever that means, I mean it with an emphasis on the meaning of meaning. Now that we've weeded out the swine who can't understand basic English syntax, we can get down to the real business at hand. Of course it would help if we knew what that business was, but unfortunately that is not to be. On a side note, never put the not between the to and the be. It's okay to boldly put only one adverb there. As it turns out, the real business at hand is to give me a hand with my business. That sounds wrong. Maybe we should just call the whole thing off. Or we could start businessing our hands for real. No that sounds wrong as well. What I meant to say is 'I'm in the business of real hands.' I can get you a decent pair, but it'll cost you an arm and a leg. Now I'm wearing out the cliches faster than a Tijuana hooker. Talking of Tijuana hookers they sure know how to give you a hand with your business. Let's get our minds out of the gutter here and start thinking of important matters, although I'm not sure how anything can matter if it's not important. The important thing is to remember the matters we are discussing, whatever they may happen to be. And since we are going to remember them, we'd better start discussing them. Otherwise it would be a waste to have remembered them. Of course I have no recollection of said things or matters, no matter how important they may have been going to be. Ah-ha, bet you weren't expecting that. I don't even know what tense it is. Definitely perfect continuous, possibly present or future. I'm thinking present perfect continuous, but the to be at the end is throwing me for a loop. Oh what I wouldn't give to be at the end of this jumble of words, but sadly it is not to be. There sure is a lot of being in this particular whatever-it-is that I am writing at this particular time. All the particulars seem to be in order, but I can't say the same of the participants. It really doesn't seem like you are even trying to understand what I'm saying. Of course I could just be saying nothing in particular, in which case you may be understanding me all too clearly. We can't have that, you ungrateful bastards. I'll show you what happens when you try to understand what I'm saying. Nothing good can come of it. I swear by the god in whom I don't believe. Stop it! Stop it right now! I can feel you this instant, desperately trying to understand this strange convolution of perfect English syntax and grammar, but it won't work. There is no sense here. All the trains have departed. There will be no law and order. There will be no death and destruction. There will be no elephants. Okay maybe there will be a couple elephants, but not too many. We don't want them crowding up the place. And we can't have any more than one octopus, because then we'd have octopodes. Ha, this damn spell-checker doesn't even know fucking English. Trying to tell me that the plural of octopus is octopuses when anyone in their right mind would know that because it comes from the greek the correct plural form is octopodes. Now I'm just jabbering on, so I guess I will come to the end right about... No I was just fooling we'll have another sentence before we get to the now.

Monotony

I think I need a change of pace. Monotony grows dull. The mind grows dull. See, proof that my mind is growing dull. I can't even write two sentences without using hte same phrase. I need some excitement. I think I might try polyphasic sleep. My biggest problem is the cold. Being up at night is only interesting if you get out and about. Seeing everything deserted is half the fun of it. Maybe going out in the cold will be good. But it's essential to bundle up. Sometimes I get the shivers because I ignore the fact that I'm cold. Sometimes I'm so absorbed in other things that I don't consciously ignore it, I just don't even realize it. But there's a sure cure for them. Get a couple thick blankets and curl up in a ball on the bed with them snugly wrapped around you. After a couple minutes its nice and cozy, but then its really tempting to fall asleep. That's why I'm concerned about trying the polyphasic thing in the winter. But I guess it would be better to start now and if I can't do it give up. That way I wouldn't have to adjust twice if I can do it in the summer but then have to switch back in the winter. Of course if I get a real job I probably won't be able to do it. I don't really want a normal job. I can't stand having so much monotony. I like to be able to just up an do things when I feel like it. But of course right now I'm at the other end of the monotony problem. I have so few set things to do that I end up just lazing about and getting bored. I want to travel. I love traveling. When I'm traveling I'm never bored. Even on long bus, plane, or train rides. I love being around new people. It's so interesting to see how different people behave, to hear how they talk. That's one of my favorite parts of traveling. I'm always picking new and interesting expressions of speech from people that I meet. I love words. There are so many ways to put them together. And especially with English there are so many uses for each one. I'm always my most creative when I'm traveling. There's always something new to inspire me. It could be something someone says, or a tree that I see, or an event that I witness. Of course it is possible to treat the everyday in this manner as well, but that takes so much more effort. It is so easy to just fall back into monotony, and lose track of all of the interesting things that go on wherever you are. That's what's so great about traveling. It forces that excitement on you. You can't ignore it. As a very lazy person that is very nice. When I stay in one place for too long I become complacent, I forget to see all of the wonderful chaos that is everywhere. It's a constant struggle to avoid falling into a monotonous order that makes life so boring. And all too frequently I fail in that struggle. But at least I know where my failings are. Accepting the problem is the first step in fixing it. I'm just not sure where to go from there. Oh well. I'm sure I'll figure it out.

new kazoo

It's been some time since I wrote anything for this thing. I have been writing, but for the magazine and before that I was having some difficulty coming up with things to write about. I'm still not having the most brilliant ideas. I won't claim that I ever had brilliant ideas but I rather liked the one about the owl and the well and the big tree that inverted into a well. That happens to be one of my personal favorites. But enough of that gibberish, we need to get to the real point of this post. Actually to tell you the truth this post has no real point. It doesn't even have a fake point. It has absolutely no point at all. Unless you consider periods points, which technically they are. Really since you are reading this on a computer the whole thing is points. Each pixel is an individual point. So this post is in reality full of points. I say screw those points, we need to find some mental point to fixate on. Otherwise the whole thing has been a giant waste of time. If you consider typing randomly for 3 min a giant waste of time. Some people think its not a waste of time at all. And others may even claim that despite it being a waste of time, it can by no means be referred to accurately as giant. But I can remedy that. If I just keep writing who knows how giant or even gargantuan I could make this. But then we still have to deal with the people who would claim it is no waste of time and rather a useful mental activity. To these people: 'I poo-poo you.' Yes I said it. This is a real and official poo-pooing. Be warned if you do not change your opinion I shall have to poo-poo you again. And I know you don't want to be double poo-pooed. Wait a second, now that I think about it I may have sided on the wrong side here. Do I really want to claim that I am wasting time. Maybe I should switch my opinion so that what I'm doing makes sense. No, that would make too much sense. I would much rather poo-poo those who try to help me. It's much less productive, and we can't let it out that I may support productivity. That could be disastrous for my career. Who knows what sort of crazed workaholic people might start thinking I am. I have enough trouble keeping up with the meager, I might go as far as to say nonexistent, workload that I have now. If people started expecting real work out of me, things could get tough. Who knows, I could turn into some drug crazed dope fiend, so twisted on speed and blow that I couldn't stop working even if I tried. And don't forget caffeine, that shit is much more powerful than commonly perceived. Sorry I just got a kazoo, can't write any more.

Che

Damn, its been a while since I wrote anything. I guess I haven't had much to say. It's hard to think let alone say with that damn fan vibrating. Every damn time it oscillates toward me it rattles, but its too fucking hot to turn it off. In retrospect it's not all that hot. Hmm, the folks next door are smoking a swisher. I can smell it through the window. I think its grape. Not all that sure, my nose is a bit stuffy so the olfactory senses are not working at full capacity. I can just pretend the smell is coming from that cigar Che is smoking as he looks out over my room form his vantage point on the wall. Its not the standard picture of him. When I first got the shirt, I never thought I'd hang it on the wall. But I like it too much to let it get worn out, and there was this big blank spot on my wall between the 'Don't drink and drive, smoke and fly' poster and the picture of my family. He fits well there. Its comforting to know I always have Che looking out over me, smoking a cigar. I'm not really sure where I'm going with this, but I never really am. It's no fun if you know where you'll end up when you start. The Motorcycle Diaries is a fanastic story. It gets that last statement. Che knew what he was doing when he set out not knowing what he would do. I'm not sure that sentence makes sense, but I'm sure you get what I'm saying. Can't write any more. The music is too good. I can't think with this bass line, it just invades my head and makes me feel good.

no idea what the fuck this is about

There I was. Nothing else. Just me. Blackness. Its strange how you can tell that you're moving even when none of your senses are working. It was some sort of falling and spinning combination. Maybe it was just vertigo. The emptiness slowly faded into blackness. I was definitely falling. I could feel the wind. No more spinning. Just the wind. There was no movement involved in this fall. I could tell. Just like when I could tell before. Then it hit me. Not a physical blow, but a realization. My eyes could work, but I had to make them work. I had no unconscious. Total awareness. Total control. Neuron fire. Nerve transmit. Muscle receive. Muscle act. Repeat. So much is required to just keep the head upright. But don't forget to make the heart pump. Senses sense. Brain coordinate. Too much. Too much. Just let it all stop. Will I still be without the physical things that make me? Oh. I failed. No more control. The unconscious was there. Just hiding. Waiting until it was sorely needed then stepping in when it would be appreciated most. No one is aware of how much it does. Never underestimate your subconscious.

Out of body experiences

I have nothing to say. But I'm going to say it anyway. Brass buttons are things that are shiny and go on blazers not suits. Suits have other things that go on them. Like pinstripes, but they can go on the wall too. I heard about a guy who hand pinstriped all of the walls in his house. That sounds really tedious, but he probably enjoyed it. I can't think of any other reason to do that. Maybe he just needed some practice pin striping. I don't really know. I've been feeling sort of out of it today. Like sometimes I'm not really sure if I'm still existing in this world or not. Sometimes everything just starts to seem so distant. Like noises get quieter and everything gets dimmer and I can't feel things as well. I'm not really sure what it is, but I'm going to assume that
it means I'm beginning to transcend out of this plane of existence. That seems to be the only reasonable conclusion to me. I think that what I've been feeling is referred to by some as a spiritual moment, but it hasn't been very spiritual to me. Its just like yeah ok, so I left my body, big deal. Its not that great. It happens all the time. I don't see why people make such a big fuss about out of body experiences. They really aren't all that amazing. I've had quite a few in my short time in this body and none of them have really made me think 'Oh God! I have to believe in God now.' Its more just like 'Oh thats me, cool.' Once I saw myself running and it sort of scared me because I'm bad with angles and I was afraid I might trip going around the turn in the track since I had no more control over my actions and was just an observer. But really I don't see what the big deal is. Well I'm done ranting about that. Wow I wrote a lot more than I thought I had. My mind just sort of dazed off there and now there's a whole bunch of words. Not really sure what they're about. I wasn't paying any attention to my thoughts, I was just sort of writing about pinstripes then I was watching myself type, but there was only one time. That's not the best way to describe it but I don't really know how else to. I was sort of watching myself for just an instant, then all of the sudden there were all these words and I don't know where they came from. What the hell is going on?

chairs

Chair. That's a noun. But is it only a noun? I think most nouns can also be things other than nouns if used correctly. Anything can be anything if used incorrectly or correctly with no regard for the consequences. World War I German helmets can be chairs too, if you don't mind giant spikes up your ass. Chairs make good firewood. But be careful not to chop them up with axes in public. The authorities don't like that. They usually take the ax away, at least in my experience. They say it's too dangerous. Well I'll tell you what's really dangerous is trying to burn a chair that's about a three foot cube without cutting it up first. I bet there would have been a lot more trouble if that chair had been set on fire without first being chopped up. I think what attracted the attention of the authorities was the sparks being thrown up as the ax hit the concrete because I'm really bad at hitting things with an ax while my eyes are closed. Or it could have been the ear splitting racket caused by the very same ax on concrete contact. I guess I shouldn't have been wildly flailing an ax around in a crowd with the police right across the street, but no one else seemed to mind. I mean yeah I wasn't really paying any attention to the safety of the people around me, but I'm sure they were, so what's the big deal. It didn't help either that I had had a different ax taken away under similar circumstances just one week previously. But in my defense it was my chair. I think I should have a right to destroy my own property, even if it was a gift. Apparently our wonderful civilization has evolved beyond the need to chop fire wood.

consequences of sleep deprivation

The consequences of sleep deprivation are unknown to the sleep deprived. Unknown may be the wrong word. That's a consequence. They are only known when they happen, because memory is one of them. Eyes are one of them too. Closing that is. Talking is another or typing. It all seems to fall apart at the first sign of trouble. It comes and goes you know. But always present. The mind may stop for a quick break but it is back in no time. At least it seems that way. There is no telling when it will hit. Actually that is not true. It comes when there has not been sleep. Slowing. Lots of blinks come and go. Things don't seem what they should be, if they should be. Words are always wrong in this situation. They work as a stopgap so that the mind can catch up, because it has slowed or stopped. It never really does. That's why the words are so important. If they keep coming out it does not always mean the mind is engaged. The key sign is the blurriness, and the loss of focus. And the green on this leaf is important too. Unknown is the why, but it just seems that way. The walls seem to close and open, or maybe that's just the door. The sounds have started, but they are there. I'm sure. It's someone out there moving around. Someone is always there. They love to make the mind wonder. The truth is not always real. Or maybe it is. No one really has any answers to the important questions. The ones that are unanswerable. Those are the ones that make you think, even when the mind is tired and wants to rest.

how i do things

I don't really know how to do this. That's my real problem. I never really know how to do anything. I doubt anybody else really does either. This comes to mind because everything always seems to work out for me even though I have no idea what's going on. Enter my conclusion that no one has any idea what's going on. If I can make things work, it makes me very cynical about other people. Based on personal experience I bet they don't have any idea either. You really just have to act like you know what's going on. Then people think you know what's going on. Then you tell them what's going on and they believe you and it becomes what's going on. The real key is to not care what's going on. My philosophy relies on a lot of fate. I don't actually believe in fate. I just believe in random chance. And acceptance. One example is traveling. I claim to never be lost. I always know where I'm going. And I always know where I am (I'm here). I always know that I will get where I'm going eventually. Sometimes I just take the circuitous route. You just have to have patience. Recently I was visiting a small college town in Pennsylvania. The girl I was visiting had a study group during the day so I decided to go for a walk. About two hours later she called me on the texty thing to tell me that the study group was over and to ask where I was. My reply: 'Well i think im headed back.' By this time I had absolutely no idea where I was in relation to the college. The key to never being lost is never losing your cool. I just started walking the direction I thought it was and in a half hour I was back on campus. When I first started driving I never knew how to get anywhere, so I would just go by instinct. Whenever I got to an intersection I would pick left, right or straight based on gut feeling. I always got where I was headed, and usually not to late. That's how I write as well, if you hadn't already noticed. I just start my mind going and see where it goes. I've always found it to be an interesting experience.

Is anybody out there?

Is anybody out there? Not out there out there, my question was more along the lines of an inquiry. I was just wondering you know. About you. I keep talking to this 'you,' but I don't actually know that anyone reads this. So what I'm trying to say is should I start addressing my posts to me. That way I wouldn't have any delusions about it. I've always treated it like I was talking to myself. I just referred to myself as you. So I'm trying to figure out if there really is a you. Are you there? Am I actually writing this blog? Are you actually reading it? If you even exist. I guess it would be pretty hard to read this if you didn't exist. Although I'm pretty sure I exist so I shouldn't really be making judgments about what people who don't exist can and cannot do. I've never been in that position before. Well I guess I was before I started existing, but I can't remember that far back: I didn't exist. I guess that lets me say I have a hunch that people who don't exist also can't remember. I'll have to wait to make judgment on the whole reading while nonexistent issue, seeing as I can't remember nonexistence, so I wouldn't know if I could read or not. Anyway I think the reason I started writing was to see if anybody read this. So I guess if you read this maybe could you leave a comment. An empty one will do. I just want some reassurance that my suspicions that someone is eavesdropping on my public conversation with myself are true.

self entertainment

Its really hard for me to get bored. Its not that I don't get myself into situations that other people would find boring. Its just that I don't find them boring. Take staring at a wall for instance. Most people would find that exquisitely boring and a complete waste of time. I think its hours of great entertainment. And its free. As long as you didn't have to pay for the wall. I mean if its like the wall of your apartment its not exactly free. But some brick wall downtown works just fine. Brick walls are even better than sheet-rock or plaster. Actually plaster walls are really interesting. Sometimes there are really cool patterns just waiting to be found. That happens with anything that is done by hand. There are always these awesome little mistakes that aren't big enough to warrant fixing but are just enough to add some flair. Sometimes I'll even stare at the backs of my eyelids for hours on end. I never get bored, I just live longer. You know how time seems to slow down when things aren't all that interesting. Well if you just embrace that fact and do more boring shit your lifespan will be increased by a huge amount. The real trick to not getting bored is being able to hallucinate on command. It has to be on command though. Hallucinating when you don't want to can be extremely terrifying. On the other hand if you're stuck looking at a blank wall for several hours, a good hallucination can be just the ticket. Or just walking across the living room can go from being a mindless chore to a great adventure in which you must avoid all of the stalactites and stalagmites growing from the floor and ceiling. That happened to me once. I was real careful because the ones on the floor looked really sharp. I think if I had stepped on one it might have pierced my foot. I wasn't wearing any shoes so I didn't have any protection. I did have a hat on so I figured my head was protected from the razor sharp stalactites. In retrospect I doubt that a straw oriental hat really would have protected my head from anything. Luckily it was all in my imagination so I was never in any really danger. Another cool thing to do is seeing black and white movie hallucinations on colored walls. Like a green film noir. Or you can project the movie on a window so you have real picture in picture. Not just up in the corner but all throughout. I think they should make a movie like that. Just overlay two movies and the sound from both and present it as a brand new movie. It would be a great way to save money on production costs. I don't know that it would be received all that well. Well I've forgotten what I was talking about, so I'm going to quit while I'm ahead, or at least not too far behind.

Intrinsic

Intrinsic is an interesting word. I'm not really sure what it means at the moment. I knew what it used to mean a while ago, but I can't be sure it hasn't changed its meaning on me. Also I can't really remember what it used to mean, so its possible it still means the same thing as it used to. The real lesson learned here is that I can't think straight when I'm tired. On top of that I can't even think straight when I'm tired. I think I might be tired, I'm never really sure. Am I tired, or is my mind just not working up to par at the moment. I mean I really like sleep, I thoroughly enjoy it, so what if my mind is just faking it so that I will go to sleep. I have some trust issues when it comes to my mind. Well really I should just say I have some trust issues. We can leave my mind out of it. There are some things I trust. I trust my memory to never work whenever I'm trying to think of things that I trust. Other than that I can't remember what it was. Built in, thats it. I bet you thought I'd forgotten all about the whole intrinsic issue. Well I didn't. And I can now say that it has the same meaning that it had the last time I remembered what it meant, because remembering what it meant triggered another memory of the last time I remembered what it meant. I'm not so great with words. I know a shit-ton of them but I can never remember what they mean. Its not that I know of the word and not what it means, its more along the lines of me knowing that I know what the word means but not at the moment. Thats another thing that I trust. I'll always remember what the word means eventually, sometimes it just takes a while. A similar situation happens with french, except that with french I really don't know what the words mean. I have all these french words in my head, but I just know that they are words and not what they mean. This leads to some very confusing dreams. I used to dream in french. Unfortunately for me I couldn't understand any of it. I know it was french, I didn't make that part up. I just didn't know what any of it meant. It was like living a surrealist fench film without subtitles and then finding out you have the leading role. Sometimes I would even be talking in these dreams, in french. Talking in french that is. Even then I still couldn't understand what I was saying. Its a horrible feeling to have words hemorrhaging out of your mouth and no idea what any of them mean. I'm used to the hemorrhaging part, that happens all the time, but the whole french part really disturbed me. I would have preferred that clicky african language. That would be intrinsically cooler.

the unconscious

Well, I was planning on writing something different, but apparently I'm allergic to writing. Thats right, after having typed about three words, I've forgotten what they were now, I started having a sneezing fit that lasted through five kleenex. Oh, now I remember what I was going to write about. No lost it again. Oh yeah...
For the past couple days I have been religiously checking my blog to see if I had posted anything new. Why would I be so idiotic as to do something like that, you may well ask. In answer, I'm not really sure. I guess it never dawned on me until this evening that in order for new posts to appear on my blog I have to write them. I'm not really sure what I was expecting, or if I would have been surprised if there had been any posts. To tell the truth, I'm not even sure why I'm writing this right now. Maybe its so that I can check back tomorrow morning and see that there is a new post. I always look forward to reading the new posts. I think it might have something to do with the fact that I never really think about what I'm writing at all. I just sort of write whatever's going through my head when I decide to start. It makes it more interesting for me when I read it later, because its usually quite a surprise. Although fortunately I somehow always manage to tickle my sense of humor. I guess its because I have the same sense of humor as myself. It would be pathetic if I couldn't even make myself laugh at my own jokes. Thats when you know your not funny at all. I've quite forgotten what I was writing about at the moment but it couldn't have been that important and I'm too lazy to scroll up and see. Also that would ruin the fun of reading it tomorrow morning. I can't be giving myself unfair sneak peeks at my latest posts. That's almost as bad as insider trading. Well not really, insider trading is pretty damn bad. Its just a crooked way for no good scammers and Martha Stewart to make lots of money off of other people's misfortunes. How the hell did I manage to get on the topic of insider trading? Sometimes I really wonder how my brain manages. For that matter, I really have no idea how I manage. Supposedly I'm not too bad at it, but I guess its just a case of me accidentally doing everything right. I think the key is to just let your life take you where you're going to go. Whenever you start getting involved in making decisions everything starts going to shit. I really like the philosophy that Douglas Adams put forth. You know the one. I can't remember it right now, but I know I would follow it if I could remember what it was. You'll have to trust me on this one. Honestly I probably wouldn't trust me if I were you. If I were me, I would, but not if I were you. Thankfully I'm me, so I would trust me, which is normally what I do. Well its really more of a faith issue than a trust issue. I just have faith in my subconscious to work everything out for me. I don't have faith in my consciousness so I just rely on the other one, you know that first thing that I mentioned, the unconscious. I think that's why I enjoy my writing. Usually my subconscious has something to say that I don't get while I'm writing it because I just sort of let my thoughts flow out of my mind and then I go back and read it and there's something there. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not saying its some great important message. Its usually more just along the lines of 'I'm hungry.' Well I think that's enough of that. Good morning me of tomorrow.

If dreams were real

Running. Trees, maybe I can just plow through in between them. Ow brambles. Ok maybe I ought to walk. Got to be careful to grab the brambles between the thorns. Never put too much pressure on them that way the thorns won't stick into you. Ok that wasn't too bad. Maybe I can run again. Oh.

What happened? Why is it dark out. Blood, why am I bleeding? Oh yeah something hit me on the head. Must have run into this branch. How long was I unconscious. Oh I guess its not dark out I just couldn't see anything. Man I've never heard of loss of vision from hitting your head. Why is everything the wrong color? Where the fuck am I? Where did all those trees go? And the brambles, I distinctly remember brambles. Why is the sky shimmering? And the ground seems to be moving. I must have hit my head a lot harder than I thought. That would explain all this blood. Well I guess I better find some water and wash my head off. How am I supposed to find any water with everything moving like this. Well I guess this more flowing bit is water. It is a bit clear. Holy Shit is that my reflection? I look awful. Wow I really must have lost a lot of blood, its all over my head. Wonder where it came from, I can't seem to find a cut. Ah, that's better. Now I better figure out what the fuck this place is. Huh, the tree seems to have disappeared. No wait, if I tilt my head just right and look out of the corner of my eye I can just see it. Oh there's the rest of the woods, and the brambles. I knew there were brambles! I wouldn't forget something like that. Why can't I see them regularly. Oh shit what the fuck is happening? Why won't I stay on the ground? What happened to all the vegetation? Why is there nothing to hold onto? Getting hard to breath. How the fuck can gravity just stop working? That must be what's happening. That would explain why the air seems to be getting thinner, it must be dispersing with nothing to hold it to the earth. I better not make any movements. That would just propel me further from the ground. Maybe I can fart really hard and push myself back towards the ground. Too much effort. I think I'll just close my eyes for a bit. Getting really tired. Must be from lack of oxygen. Losing my vision again. Damn I had hoped to go out with a bit more of a bang than this.

A bouquet of words

Orange. I like to start with a color. Or a fruit. Oranges are delicious, but that's not the point. The point of a mountain is a peak. The peak of sophistication is supposedly in Paris. And Paris was supposedly a rather fruity guy. So there we are back at fruit again. How do you get out of a circle? Or into one for that matter? Where exactly is the best place to be in relation to a circle? I guess it all depends on what kind of circle it is. Most experts agree its best to be in the circle of life, whether that circle is a hangman's noose or a circle of friends I couldn't tell ya. Are we even sure life is circular? What if its ellipsoidal? Another thing that's ellipsoidal is our dear planet's orbit. Unlike a piece of Orbit gum, which is more of a rectangular prism. That sure sounds a lot like prison. Come to think of it a prison cell is most likely prismal. If that's even a word. I don't really care if it is a word. One of those letter thingies that I'm sure is a word is vase. I sure got my word's worth out of that one when I was describing my glass collection. Did you know that if you take the space out of it, words worth is a poet? He liked to write about sublimity. Like a lot of flowers or other such things. Never could quite figure it out. I mean I like flowers as much as the next guy. Well unless the next guy were to be a florist. Then I probably like them more than the next guy. I'm going on the assumption that if you have to work with flowers eight hours a day, you're probably pretty tired of them. Speaking of tired I'm pretty tired of all this gibberish.

Embrace the good things in life

Green. I painted this room. Did you know that? With my own two hands, and a paint roller of course. I painted most of the rooms in this house to tell the truth. Well the ones that are painted. My room is just unfinished brown wallboard. I'm not too happy with the trim work, but I was in a rush and the corners are rounded so its hard to get the line to look good from all angles. From the ladder it seemed just fine. I had to pay a fine once. Actually I've had to pay more than one fine, but only one big one. It was a memorable event. Do you remember it? Oh never mind. I've half a mind to forget it myself, but it doesn't want to go away. Sometimes I like to go away. I don't get much chance to physically go away, its just too expensive. So I just go away in my head, that can get expensive too. People tend not to like those who travel in the realms of their heads because they seem detached. I found out I have a high risk of detached retinas but I don't have them now so I shouldn't worry. Thats what the doctor said. You know how they are, any reason to get you to come back. Well I'm not going back, at least not back to Mexico. Its full of Mexicans. I do like Mexican food but you can get plenty of that in New Mexico. This country is all about the new, and the news. We're news obsessed. There seems to be this phenomenon in the US that everyone just loves to hear about others misfortunes. Oh they say "How horrible" and feel genuine sympathy, but I think the underlying cause is an ever present need to feel better than others. Thats why I stopped watching the news, when they start reporting about all the wonderful things that happen in the world then I'll start watching again. I don't need the TV to tell me something I can look outside my door and see. The sea is frequently green, did you know that?