chairs

Chair. That's a noun. But is it only a noun? I think most nouns can also be things other than nouns if used correctly. Anything can be anything if used incorrectly or correctly with no regard for the consequences. World War I German helmets can be chairs too, if you don't mind giant spikes up your ass. Chairs make good firewood. But be careful not to chop them up with axes in public. The authorities don't like that. They usually take the ax away, at least in my experience. They say it's too dangerous. Well I'll tell you what's really dangerous is trying to burn a chair that's about a three foot cube without cutting it up first. I bet there would have been a lot more trouble if that chair had been set on fire without first being chopped up. I think what attracted the attention of the authorities was the sparks being thrown up as the ax hit the concrete because I'm really bad at hitting things with an ax while my eyes are closed. Or it could have been the ear splitting racket caused by the very same ax on concrete contact. I guess I shouldn't have been wildly flailing an ax around in a crowd with the police right across the street, but no one else seemed to mind. I mean yeah I wasn't really paying any attention to the safety of the people around me, but I'm sure they were, so what's the big deal. It didn't help either that I had had a different ax taken away under similar circumstances just one week previously. But in my defense it was my chair. I think I should have a right to destroy my own property, even if it was a gift. Apparently our wonderful civilization has evolved beyond the need to chop fire wood.